


The Great Shop-Off of '14

by annsgopal94



Category: Mahabharata - Vyasa, महाभारत | Mahabharat (TV 2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-17 16:00:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2315273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annsgopal94/pseuds/annsgopal94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You would always beat me; not so much because you are a better fighter as because you will not accept defeat.” <br/>― John Christopher, The Sword of the Spirits</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Great Shop-Off of '14

Every once in a while the Panchal, Yadav, and Kuru families had (what they called) a get-together. Of course, this resembled an international convention, due to the sheer population of the Kurus.  
This year, Gandhari and Kunti had been elected to cook for the whole paltan; no mean feat, as is obvious. Draupadi, Bheem, Duryodhan and Krishna had offered to help, which was a relief for the two mothers who had gone chalk pale when they had heard the news.  
Subhadra's offer to help had been turned down with a unanimous, resounding, "NO!" from practically everyone (except Dussassan, who was doggedly loyal to her).  
Subhadra hadn't been very impressed with their lack of support and had sniffed delicately and said, "Fine."  
Duryodhan and Krishna had looked at each other warily, acutely aware of future fuwaares of paani, snot, a red nose and lots of ice cream.Krishna had attempted to console her but even his tries fell like flat tires. He looked worriedly at Duryodhan again, and then suddenly raised his left eyebrow- a sure fire sign of some khurafati idea. Arjun noticing it, turned away, pretending distraction.  
But Duryodhan, picking up the hint, had turned towards Subhadra arrogantly and said, "We'll I'm quite glad that went without a hissy fit. I feared being poisoned."  
There had been a collective hiss signifying an intake of breath. No one in the room had thought Duryodhan was that satka hua.  
"DuryoDHAN KAURAVYA. I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER POISON YOU. THE POISON IS IN YOUR HEART, YOU HATEFUL, HATEFUL KAMINA!" Subhadra shrieked.  
Arjun had shaken his head to himself, “Man, you’re not getting any tonight!”  
Wincing and lightly touching his ears, Duryodhan had raised his eyebrow (not unlike Krishna).  
"Subhadra you can't even grocery shop without calling me five hundred times to ask me pointless things. Even after being given a grocery list!"  
That had been the final straw.  
Even Draupadi had gasped and clutched Karna's arm.  
Her heels clacking unpleasantly on the wooden floor, Subhadra had walked up to Duryodhan and stuck a finger right beneath his nose.  
"Are you challenging me?"  
Duryodhan, ever the competitor (he put both Arjun and Karna to shame), forgot that all he had had to do was distract his girlfriend from creating a dukhi mann mera scene.  
“I think I am,” he had said narrowing his eyes.  
"Fine. You and me. Cook-off. Let’s go,” she had shot at him, poking his chest with every word, fire ringed around her eyes.  
Duryodhan had smiled triumphantly, “You’re on.”  
\----------------

Krishna has decided the rules (whilst promising Duryodhan and team that he wouldn’t tip the scales in his sister’s favour):  
There won’t be a cook off (“No Subhadra, we believe you! You really are improving! But you can’t serve just boiled eggs now, can you?”)  
There will be a grocery shopping competition though, especially seeing as how, this was what Duryodhan had held against Subhadra (also the safest choice, but we cannot mention that).  
Gandhari’s list of items will be given to Duryohan and Kunti’s to Subhadra, and each of them would have to shop for about forty six items on each list (it's best if this isn't questioned; Nakula said something and was promptly smacked on either cheek by his mother and aunt).  
Whoever got to the till in fifteen minutes, with more than forty items, and billed their stuff first, would win.  
Not one product should be wrong. The bringer loses the competition immediately.  
The prize would be (“MAAN-SAMMAAN” Subhadra had shrieked; Duryodhan had given her a very God-you-proletariat look) ...well they really can’t decide on it. Duryodhan’s hands have been itching to hold an iPhone 6 but Subhadra has answered with a rather disappointing, “Mad or what?!”

Duryodhan cannot believe he’s actually taking part in this nonsensical competition. But then he reminds himself that winning and Subhadra’s sad little face in front of him...what, stop it you sick bugger! She’s your girlfriend!

To Subhadra, who really loathes being backward in anything, this competition is the only way to redeem herself. 

So she has enlisted Lalita “cook-aur-clean-dono-karti-hoon-behenji-kapde-sukhaana-extra” didi to help her identify practically everything in the kitchen. Krishna tells her that this might be unnecessary seeing as how she will be receiving a list but Balram looks at her with pity and tells him to just let it be. Dussassan helps her with flash cards of different food items. She can now differentiate moong from masoor, tell if the milk is off, and *drumroll please* has just made her first cup of non-chaotic chai!  
\-----------------

The day of the competition has dawned and both parties are tingling with excitement. Krishna, and the participants are at the entrance of the Spar nearby.  
Arjun, Karna, Bheem, Dussassan, Draupadi, Chitrangada, Nakul, and Vikarna are the spectators.  
Yudhishtir, Sahadev and Balram are too wise to dip their toes in this electric body of water.  
“Okay,” Krishna says, handing each participant an envelope containing the all important list. “You know the rules! May the best person win!”  
And it starts.  
\--------------

The first item on the list is basmati rice. “Please,” scoffs Subhadra. “At least give me a challenge!” And then she sees all the varieties before her. Daawat, India Gate...bloody hell what is long grain rice?!  
\-------------

Duryodhan has smugly progressed to the fifth item on the list. Yoghurt, check. Olive oil, check.  
Hah!  
He spies Subhadra at the rice section looking adorably confused. He sighs with longing when she runs her hand through her hair in frustration. But he smirks soon enough.  
“Sorry baby, I’d love to help, but you brought this upon yourself!” he calls, walking away, sides splitting in laughter.  
Subhadra throws a crumpled piece of paper at him.  
\------------

Subhadra has not given up. She is now on the fifteenth item on her list, which is saffron. She picks up the best brand as advised by her Kunti Bua earlier today.  
Duryodhan is having problems navigating his trolley through the chocolate section. The next item on his list is seventy five percent dark chocolate. But all these ...children are blocking his path.  
"Excuse me," he tries to one snot faced child, who looks at him blankly (like Boxer the horse from Animal Farm, he thinks).  
"Please can you move?"he tries again, with some steel in his tone.  
The child (whose gender he cannot seem to determine) starts to bawl immediately, attracting the attention of her and another twenty other children's parents.  
"Ah...crap," he thinks as they descend upon him to give him a shelling of a lifetime.  
\------------

Subhadra notices a hoard around her boyfriend. Frowning she walks closer to see a very shame faced, hassled Duryodhan listen absently to a mother.  
Rolling her eyes, she walks up to him. He never did know how to handle women's accusations.  
Pulling him by the elbow, she guides him without a word through the jungle of parents and assorted spectators.  
Duryodhan sighs with relief and hugs her tightly.  
"Lifesaver," he mutters through her hair.  
She smiles and pats his arm.  
"Watch me beat your sorry backside now," she says intently looking into his eyes.  
Duryodhan stays where he is for another minute, grinning with a faraway expression until he realises that she wasn't talking dirty.  
\--------------

Forty fifth Duryodhan. You can do this, come on.  
Duryodhan has been repeating this like a mantra for the past thirty seconds. But he cannot, for the life of him, tell if they need to use moong, masoor, toor or chana for the dal. Ma has literally written down, “Dal”.  
Like, what the hell?!  
The prefix “M” is the only other clue he has.  
Another thirty seconds pass, and he grabs the moong and proceeds to the till, where Subhadra is already getting her thirtieth item billed.  
\--------------

Subhadra walks out to where the others are standing a nanosecond before Duryodhan. She pumps her fist in the air, excitement high at having passed the first round.

Krishna takes a quick inventory of everything while Duryodhan leans against a pillar in nonchalance. Subhadra is biting her fingernails in trepidation. Draupadi and Nakul hug her from either side. Dussassan is fervently whispering, “Please God, please…”  
Krishna looks up from the bags.  
“Dude, you’ve got moong dal...how’re you going to make dal out of that man!” he asks Duryodhan, blinking.  
“Hey, don’t blame me! The instructions said “M. Dal”! What is that?!” he asks, slightly anxious.  
“You're cooking man! And you know that moong dal is for khichdi, and even if you do make dal with it, none of us likes it! Remember when Shikhandini tried to make it?” he asks in earnest.  
Subhadra starts to sob uncontrollably.  
“I’ve...I...I’ve worked verrrrry haaard for thisssss!” she says running up to Duryodhan and hugging him.  
“Yeah Subhadra wins,” Krishna smiles.  
Duryodhan’s arms instinctively go around Subhadra, holding her as she cried, but he is slightly dazed.  
How...what...But then he looks at Subhadra’s jubilant face. She is absolutely happy with her achievement.  
“Baby, I won!” she whisper sobs.  
He laughs, his hands cupping her face.  
“Yeah, yeah you did! You can grocery shop...and make tea now I hear!” he smiles kissing her.  
Karna who is off to the corner, smiles to himself. He knew that Duryodhan wouldn’t mind that little “M” he had added.


End file.
